Prayer for Pace

GOD is my pacesetter, I shall not rush.

SHE makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals.

HE provides me with images of stillness which restore my serenity.

THEY leads me in ways of efficiency through calmness of mind;

And HER guidance is peace.

Even though I have a great many things to accomplish this day,

I will not fret for HIS presence is here

THEIR timelessness, HER all-importance will keep me in balance.

HE prepares me for refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity

By anointing my head with THEIR oil of tranquility.

My cup of joyous energy overflows.

Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours.

For I shall walk in the pace of my GOD and dwell in HER house forever.

Amen

• Adapted from 'The 23rd Psalm for a busy person" by Taki Miyashina.
• Inspired by Dr. Brian Bantum’s BANGING sermon a few of weeks back: God is Not American, and the entire “God is Not..." series of sermons at  my new faith home: Quest Church
• For non-Christian friends, or if you'd like to understand the "anointing" phrase and it's unequivocal femininity. The Center for Action and Contemplation had a week of daily meditations on the subject back in April.

Background:

Residency, much like medical school, is an emotional roller coaster. But unlike medical school it now has 10000% more responsibilities. The notes you type, the wonder of every decision is not an academic exercise but an order. With legal, financial, social and moral consequences. You have to answer those messages; to refill the prescription, to call/mail the lab results, fax the Work/Disability paperwork.  Between rounding in the hospital, running codes, declaring the deaths, delivering the babies and making it to lecture or clinic on time.  And you have to be back in 10 or so hours to do it all over again. This is your job. 

There is no preparation for that level of responsibility. No wonder I’m aging by the millisecond! The sense of urgency, the busyness of every waking moment, even if when you're working less than the 'allowed' 80 hours per week. But this is life. And it’s very much out of my control. So what does one do in the face of such impossible to-dos?

Pray.

At some point in the last year I heard a version of the above poem. It was heartwarming and peaceful. But also raised an inherent cognitive dissonance of who God is, or rather who She's not. As I've earned the honorable title of PCP to a growing panel of patients. I've been remarkably touched by the journey  of my trans/queer ones.  And with them and all my patients and colleagues in mind I try to pray the above everyday. 

Happy Monday!